I have seemingly been kidnapped by my own imagination
have I escaped my reality by my own idealised distraction?
I have been trying to blog since yesterday morning, without luck. Try as I might I cannot seem to stay focussed. I know why and at first it shocked me. I am idealising another human being. Then I thought about it and thought, hang on a minute, don’t we do that with most people. I have studied human behaviour and unless I am actually focussed on it I pretty much miss clues about who people really are, hell I completely missed all clues in a previous relationship where I was living with someone who had borderline personality disorder. How? How did miss it, because I wanted to. Oh I knew there was something wrong, but I ignored that and idealised the person and the situation. So is there really anything wrong with idealising someone or a connection now, creating a idealistic friendship or connection with someone I don’t know. I mean do we ever really know anyone? Something else I considered is that this is safe, there’s no chance of rejection or arguments that can’t be resolved. The situation as it presents really is quite honest in it’s simplicity. Respect, admiration, and understanding. Things will change, as they always do and the dynamic will change, so why not just live in this moment with this idealised connection. Why am I trying to analyse myself and talk myself out of it. Many a writer, artist, poet has had a muse. So why not just go with it.
“All of us need to be in touch with a mysterious, tantalizing source of inspiration that teases our sense of wonder and goads us on to life’s next adventure.”
― Rob Brezsny