Bullshit I say to myself

Hiding away from my emotions with justification, rationalising and a lie.

I have wrapped my soul in a lie.

A lie used to cover the wounds and the scars and the disappointments.

A lie that shrouds the tears I should cry, that locks my happiness in a box because I am afraid.

Fear. That dreaded abyss of an emotion that eats away at you slowly and meticulously.

The fear that surrounds a Pandora’s box filled with everything I want and can’t have, hiding everything I crave, everything that I want to scream from the top of the highest mountain so my voice carries into the open sky of the universe.

Fear.  Desires never whispered, in case the world was deaf.

Fear. Hope that didn’t get to sing its song.

Fear. Disguising the bare bones of my soul.


© Christie Marie Kruger 2013


About Christie Marie Ginja Kruger

Orenda (huron)The power of human will to change the world. Set up as an opposing force to fate or destiny. If powerful forces beyond your control are trying to force a particular outcomes, orenda is a kind of vocalised summoning of personal strength to change this. A giant child, trying to find my purpose, without losing sight of all things beautiful. View all posts by Christie Marie Ginja Kruger

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