Bullshit I say to myself
Hiding away from my emotions with justification, rationalising and a lie.
I have wrapped my soul in a lie.
A lie used to cover the wounds and the scars and the disappointments.
A lie that shrouds the tears I should cry, that locks my happiness in a box because I am afraid.
Fear. That dreaded abyss of an emotion that eats away at you slowly and meticulously.
The fear that surrounds a Pandora’s box filled with everything I want and can’t have, hiding everything I crave, everything that I want to scream from the top of the highest mountain so my voice carries into the open sky of the universe.
Fear. Desires never whispered, in case the world was deaf.
Fear. Hope that didn’t get to sing its song.
Fear. Disguising the bare bones of my soul.
© Christie Marie Kruger 2013