I have felt love. I have felt love without trust. Love without respect. I have been broken, Torn. Mangled in love.
You ask how I trust now, and I say I trust because I choose to, because I have no reason not to and a millions reasons to. I trust because I respect. Because I know. I trust for no one reason but for a million.
You ask how I know that this will not end mangled and torn and bloody. I don’t. I do know that for now, I have been given a gift. Perhaps not a permanent gift, but I have learned the the only thing I am certain of is change. I am no longer afraid of change. I am no longer afraid of trust. I am no longer afraid of pain.
I am enveloped in respect and a belief and this gift shall never be forgotten, no matter the end. The journey thus far in this mutual connection has granted me more wisdom than I have ever gained.
I have learned to understand the will and want and freedom of the spirit of the individual. To respect that and to understand that we are all on our journeys, and paths cross, and we go our separate ways, and perhaps should the universe conspire to do so, paths cross again.
I have learned forgiveness through empathy, and in acknowledging that as much as I get lost on my journey so do others. I have learned we all cower in the shadows with the same fears and that is only for us to overcome. I have learned that to love means to allow the spirit of another to be as it needs to be. That love does not possess but encourages growth, should that means paths diverge then so be it.
Love it is a strange phenomenon, one I am unsure I will never fully understand. I know this a love I had never expected, and I know it is an unpredictable one. I am not afraid of this any more, this inability to control and predict and guarantee. I do know I am grateful to learn and to see such beauty of a person. I understand the courage behind the chance. I understand that in this time of my life, I am learning the most beautiful lesson.
I understand that in order for my heart to be whole and given freely, I am not to expect, I am not to possess, I am not to demand.
This love is my greatest teacher. I will take that exactly as it is.