Tag Archives: concious

Shadow girl

Shadow girl

She no longer sobbed uncontrollably. She had no energy for passionate tears, instead, at times, her tears would escape the padlocked box where emotions are kept and they would run down her face catching her by surprise.

It was that awkward stage of grief where hope still lingers. A place she knew she may never return from.

A shadow hiding in half light, waiting for the darkness to descend and yet hoping the sun would fail to sleep, just this one time.

Her head and heart in violent battle tearing each other apart like rabid dogs and all she could do was stand still. Helpless but not hopeless, alone.

Surrounded by someone else’s demons coaxing hers to come out and play.

So she stood not sure of up and down and left and right and in and out and everything kept spinning in silence around and she wished there was a soundtrack so she could figure out what was coming next.

At times the darkness began to drown her but a crack of light would filter through just enough to tease her into believing.

But the corner where she could be seen grew smaller, she watched herself being swallowed by the dark. This silent movie of the shadow girl.

Trapped in limbo between the night and the light fighting demons that were not her own.

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truth in mysterious code

In a physical pain without diagnosis or cause;

through the journey of lucidity and further to dreamscape;

the clarity of concious and subconscious

unifying in truth It is now known to me.

I question my motives;

and comprehension descends

Of my self denial;

Why can I not read or feel the connection,

it has slowly weakened;

Why is my body racked with pain that jolts me in waves of torture;

Had I denied you so much;

Do I deny myself so much;

Committed to my own certainty of platonic adoration; and respectful love;

I am told that I must deny my heart and so I bury it beneath something larger than I;

And here now I stand with two truths;

equal disasters equal ecstasy

and I stand

I cannot;

will not

shall not move. © Christie Marie Kruger


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