Tag: truth

You don’t know

In the midst of chaos and disorder, I find a quiet place;

That place is you.

You don’t know that and you probably never will.

Sometimes on a day where I feel I am swimming aimlessly in an ocean of confusion;

You are a lighthouse.

When I begin to fail in humility and start climbing on to my high horse of self-absorption and self-importance;

You remind me of who I really am and who I strive to be.

You don’t know that and you probably never will.

There are days when  I am filled with remorse and anguish and I spend all my time looking backward at  bygones that can’t be changed, that I don’t understand, filled with “what-if” and “why”, when I distort the memories and fail to realistically see the truth that I somehow want to transform into a lost perfection;

You call me to the present, to the moment and remind me I am not alone.

In times where I feel my frustration rising and the negativity around me and within  me threatens to swallow me whole and spit me out as a angry nasty troll, you fill me with quiet laughter, and hidden smiles and you compel me to catch sight of the magnificence  and beauty that can be found around me;

You don’t know that and you probably never will.

truth in mysterious code

In a physical pain without diagnosis or cause;

through the journey of lucidity and further to dreamscape;

the clarity of concious and subconscious

unifying in truth It is now known to me.

I question my motives;

and comprehension descends

Of my self denial;

Why can I not read or feel the connection,

it has slowly weakened;

Why is my body racked with pain that jolts me in waves of torture;

Had I denied you so much;

Do I deny myself so much;

Committed to my own certainty of platonic adoration; and respectful love;

I am told that I must deny my heart and so I bury it beneath something larger than I;

And here now I stand with two truths;

equal disasters equal ecstasy

and I stand

I cannot;

will not

shall not move. © Christie Marie Kruger